We all have a critical side. We all play the role from time to time. So these are as much to myself (or at least to my ego) as they are to the critics "out there" (although I'm fine if they read these too.)
Rule One: If you aren't playing by your own rules, please don't put them on anyone else. (Also, please know your own rules.)
This leaves two choices: start playing by our own rules, or stop putting our rules on others. We can decide which way to go but we can't have it both ways. I've personally found the default of "not putting rules on others" is a much better place to start. I can then make sure I know my own rules (beyond the superficial expressions of them) and that I'm playing by them before I start looking around.
Note: I do find myself looking around much less, which is good. It's hard to look with a plank in my eye, anyway.