More and more thoughts and feelings and emotions and processing happens every day - now that I've "left" the church world behind.
I've had a few conversations with people who tell me they are thinking about being done with church but they really don't want to leave their friends they see every week.
Just a thought - that is, in no way, meant to encourage anyone to leave a community they love.
If the only time you see a friend is once a week at a church service, I might challenge whether that's a "friend". I think this is actually an subconscious problem within spiritual communities. Friends aren't that. Yes, they will disappoint you when you get sick or need a dollar - because they are not friends. They are fellow attenders to an event. They give great hugs and hellos and smiles (which can have tremendous value) but that's not what a friend is.
A friend requires much more from you.